I was digging through my
old writing folder the other day to review my older attempts at being
interesting and erudite. Instead, I found this critique from a short
story entry in 1993 (yes I know, before a lot of you were born :)
Anyway, I never got around to revising this story (like, totally) but
maybe I shall try again. The judges generously imparted the
following advice:
“Stories are
subjective to judges' tastes and not your ability to write”
(whew!)
“Incorporating all
the basic elements of short story writing doesn't always
guarantee the final
product will be acceptable.” (that's right...!)
“While many of the
entries began well, they fell short along the line...” (story
of my life..)
“Another Side” is a
Dorian Gray-like story (I was trying for The Yellow
Wallpaper...but I have since renamed it: Pink is the New Poison)
“As long as one cares
for the azaleas, one remains healthy; neglect them, and you wither as
they do. This connection; however, is rather encumbered by a slow
plot; and the nightmares do not enhance or promote as well as they
could....” (I have got to re-examine hellish nightmares....)
“Characterization of
Ron and Abigail tends to be stereotypical” (ok, I've got
it...Abigail can become more like Kim Khardashian and Ron can become
more like Bruce Jenner when he's sporting the red nail polish!)
“You might consider
giving this story more life by changing from 1st
person to 3rd person. This sort of story is
difficult to write in an emotional way that involves the reader...”
(Ron was bipolar and flung the shovel across the yard after he
chipped his red nail polish attempting to free Abigail's soul from
the narcissistic azaleas...)
“In first person an
account is told rather than shown....” (I thought the rule was
show not tell??)
“Vivid fast paced
description and narration would make this story shine, although I
have to give a you a fair in every category: premise, plot,
characterization, dialogue, originality and writing ability....Keep
writing and I hope to hear from you in the future... (Hmmm, I
thought it was a tired, overdone story....)
Actually since the eons
ago that I wrote this, I am now inspired to take up the pen and make
these revisions, let's see how it goes! Take care everyone, and keep
on writing, this proves it is never too late to revise that short
story.
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