The Bankrobber

Shortie Smith was hold up in a Motel 6. The bank robbery had gone surprisingly well,and he couldn't believe it. It was a small bank, he waited to the customers left, two tellers and a ski mask. All he did was walk in the bank and hand the teller a note: “Put all the money in the bag and hand it over to me. Maintain eye contact, do not attempt to notify anyone. I have a gun.” The teller's eyes opened wide, she looked up. He pointed at the protrusion in his shirt, both women got busy and handed him a bag, and Shortie walked out. On foot, he made quite a bit of progress before he had to hide in an abandoned building waiting until the sirens died down. He changed shirts, discarded the mask, and then he made a stop in the Vietnamese “Discount Store and Payday Loans,” where he called a cab. Now Shortie was pondering the ceiling tiles in Motel 6. He had to have a good plan, sometimes you can get away with things and he wanted to get away with this crime, it was his money, he needed it, besides the government would pay those people back. Sort of a government payday loan.

Shortie got up and placed the money bag on the bed, and he opened it up. All of a sudden, there was a small, but violent, blue explosion. “Damn it!” yelled Shortie. It was blue dye. Everywhere. The tellers had given him a bag full of blue dye! He turned to look in the mirror, he was blue all right. Blue face, arms, hands. What the luck, alright! There was only one thing to do now, Dallas Cowboys or Smurfs?

The radio was blaring the current hit: “When I'm Gone...” and Shortie knew, he had to git gone. They would be looking for him, so he had to get pretty far and fast out of Colorado. What was it that old bum had told him, that he knew a place, a place where not many can get to, a place where people would kill to get to, a place where it was like things never happened. Could there be such a place?

Shortie headed out as inconspicuously as a blue man could, and rounded the corner to the Dollar Store. He had to get a Smurf hat and a a cowboy hat. He had to be able to bounce this blue thing off. The money was blue too, but he would worry about that later. Right now, he had non-robbery money that he could use.

Out on the street he walked, Shortie the performance artist, the kids were having something at the library, that was his story, he was a Smurf acting for the kids. He turned onto Lamar Street, and ran face to face into the woman at the bank. She looked at him, looked at him again, and walked on by. Had she recognized him? Shortie made a bee line for the library, he had to do this thing right. In his bag, the cowboy hat smushed against his leg and the bag of money was now transferred into a trash bag inside the Dollar Store bag. A performance, then find the old man....

Shortie the Bank Robber's real name was Vincent Moscone. Shortie V., they called him; he was named just like his cousin....both were Vinny for short. Shortie came all the way from New Jersey to rob the Arvest Bank of Colorado. He had done his research, and this bank was one of the most lax in security. Now he was a blue man on the run, but not quite on the run yet. He had to handle this blue dye thing right, or he would get caught for sure. Those darn tellers, putting that dye in the money bag. Now he was headed to the Mavis Public Library for a children's performance. Shortie touched his Smurf hat, yep it was perfect; he didn't like kids, but he could pull this off. Cops were searching the whole town. Up ahead a cop car was parked in front of the RX-All Pharmacy. That was ok, he could walk by confidently. He didn't even flinch. Shortie was so ready to get back to New Jersey, he was gonna go into partnership with his cousin, whose name was Vinnie too.

Inside the library, Shortie headed to the front desk, “Hello, I am here for the show,” he told the head librarian. “Oh yes,” she smiled. “A let's see, Mr.?” “Mr. Ernest Owens,” said Shortie. “I don't see your name on the list...” said the librarian. “Oh, I'm sorry, was I supposed to sign up early?” he asked. “Well, yes,” said the librarian looking at his Smurf costume. “Oh gee, I ...” said Shortie. “Well we might could fit your part in, can you fill out take these forms and fill them out, and bring it back to the desk with your ID?” “Sure,” said Shortie, taking the forms. He headed over to the computer center.

Shortie had the forms, and was searching wildly for his fake ID. The place was filling up with kids. Shortie took a deep breath. He didn't like kids much. “Hey look!” Shortie turned around. Two little punk boys were right behind him. “Who are you?” squealed one of them. “I am a Smurf!” smiled Shortie. “What's that?” asked the other kid. “I'm Papa Smurf, Leader of the Smurf village, I'm here to...” Shortie looked outside as two cops were walking down the sidewalk. “Well, we are here to have fun, right?” asked Shortie. “Do you know Dr. Seuss?” asked the original little punk. “Uhh....yeah, yeah I do...” said Shortie. “Are you a Broncos fan?” asked the second little punk. “No, uh yeah, I'm a big Broncos fan...go Big Blue!” said Shortie. “And I like the Cowboys too.” One kid smiled, the other one frowned. “Hey you guys better find a seat, it's about time for us to get started here...”said Shortie.

Shortie turned to take his forms to the librarian, he saw a police officer talking to her at the desk. She was shaking her head. He wasn't sure....was she buying his story as a performance artist? Shortie had to get back to New Jersey with the money, he was going to help his cousin Vinny. They were starting a busines: Vinny & Vinny Business Solutions. They were gonna have solutions for anybody's business. They were gonna have a cash flow. Shortie had a bag of blue money. He was a blue man. A man who was now a Denver Bronco's fan. Now to get a Bronco's Jersey, rent a car and go to Texas. Dallas. The Cowboys were gonna be playin' the Giants. Blue was the perfect color alright, and he was going to get away. No cops were going to stop him now...