When the Chicken Crossed the Road

When the chicken crossed the road

I was walking with too-tired feet

and a too-smart border collie

When the chicken crossed the road

I admired him there bold

the black, speckled feathers

the red comb

I was not to worry

then the dog's ears flew up

sensing something...

My grip was firm

he understood

though out of sight

is truly out of mind

Then I happen to stumble

briefly upon a rock

and the leash in my hand

flew out like a bullet

The sensible collie

at once was free

the temptation was too much

for a good chase, you see?

It's what they do,

those collies

they herd

And that speckled

chicken

she was a running bird!

That hairy dog

he has sharp teeth

and a speckled bird

doesn't want to become meat

So she ran down

into a river ravine

where she dissapeared instantly

nowhere to be seen

So when the owner came out

calling her left and right

Well you know I wouldn't say

Sam gave her such a fright!

R ambling in the street

U nder blue sky so rare, we

N ever saw a fowl!

The disclaimer on this is that "No chickens were harmed in the making of this little story." This is also mostly fiction (if you read the fine print you will already know that I do make many things up). I did; however, see this exact same chicken when walking my dog, and his ears did perk up but we went onward without further ado. The inspiration for this post came from fellow blogger, RaineFairy and her blog, Tweak and Shout https://tweakandshout.wordpress.com/. She writes lovely acrostic haiku poetry that is much better than my paltry attempt above. Happy Friday everyone!

The Ice Man is Coming

The hobgoblins quiver

when the Ice Man goes by

when he crashes Hallow's eve

makes little witches cry

the ghosts are left motionless

the gouls are overcome

when the Ice Man goes raging

the tricksters go numb

The wolves, bats and spirits

are stiffly about

When the Ice Man is afoot

and begins to shout

Some say it is Big Foot

dressed in costume

the little dark ones are glum

and stay in their room

The poltergeists become frigid

and the shadow people are stiff

when the Ice Man breaks out

and causes a shift

Part Abominable Snowman

very unspritely you see

The Ice Man gets loose

and shouts mightily

and the north wind it blows

and the shadows do creep

cold takes the Indian Summer

as we shiver in sleep

Halloween Acrostic

Horrendous atmosphere

A haint, I ain’t

Lonely

Lost

On

West Street

Evil Lurks

Evil Lingers

Nobody is safe

Smarter than a 5th Grader....or Not

Unprepared….check. Hectic….check. Disobey the rules…always. Where do you go? Go through this door, down then two, step out another door, not that big, metal one, then go through the cafeteria and the kids should be out there. If you should have any problems, just use their conduct folders where you can open them up and see a series of dates, codes, teachers and locations which all resemble some sort of language that the State Department might use for security. Okay…should? Welcome to the world of substitute teaching.

Today it is 5th grade science which is no problem even if you majored in English or Art or Business or something else totally unrelated because everyone remembers the Periodic Table and knows all about elements and properties and kids who don’t do their work. So speaking of being out of one’s element, this might comprise an average day of conversation:

Ms. B. “Why did you call table order? We always line up in Line Order. ”

Thank you, Samantha. Okay then, everyone heard her….Line Order and Quick!

Ms. B. “You really need to write the words so they will appear on the whiteboard. Mr. M. always stands right there.”

“Well this is how we are doing it today.”

Ms. B. “Something growled behind me.”

“Well Caleb, I have some bad news and some worse news. It’s a demon. The worse news is that it is only haunting you. I suggest you text Amy from The Dead Files immediately on the very same phone that you have been texting on all class period long when everyone else was diligently answering their questions on the atomic weight of carbon and who constructed the ancient Mayan pyramids.”

Ms. B. “Are you frustrated?”

“No, Ashley, not at all. Ms. B. is just tired…..and sort of ….flabbergasted.”

Okay, so maybe I didn’t tell that student that he had demon trouble, but I’m sure more adventures await…..happy Monday!

Mrs. McLoon and the Werewolf

The witch Mrs. McLoon

harbors a grudge

She dislikes her neighbor

he’s such a drudge

Mrs. McLoon decided

to change Sid one day

She had had enough

going to make him pay

Mrs. McLoon was to get even

so you know what she did?

Decided to turn him into a werewolf,

this poor fellow Sid

She mixed a concoction,

a potion so stellar

Meaning to turn Sid

into a wolf fella

She planned a big, wild werewolf

to howl at the moon

Oh, she was bad,

that savage Mrs. McLoon

Something went awry

with that particular spell

Sid was no werewolf

out haunting the dell

Instead with that potion

he transformed true to task

Sid then became

the green guy from Mask

He hyped up and he ran

and he painted the town

The old Sid we once knew

became quite the clown

He captured Cameron Diaz

and zip in a flash

He was robbing banks, tackling gangstas

and spending the cash!

Mrs. McLoon was befuddled

no wolf fella was he

So we watched her late night

as she brewed special tea

Sid seemed pretty happy

more popular now in green

And townspeople prefer

no werewolves to be seen

Lee and the Evil Mrs. McLoon

The librarian at our school is a witch

I do believe

We haven't seen Taylor Jones

since she grabbed her by the sleeve

With powers supernatural

that's old Mrs. McLoon

she turned Evan Jones

into a hairy baboon

The principal Mr. Ned,

away from her did he scoot

When she arrived wearing peace signs

and waving eye of newt

They say Mrs. McLoon

dances in the dead of night

Her house is haunted

it is really quite a sight

She tends, combs and cuddles

a whole herd of black cats

When she opens up the windows,

out comes the black bats

The math teacher zombied out

and almost fell

Mary Alice White saw her

cast that spell

Don't go in the library

and ask for anything factual

Because like I said,

Mrs. McLoon's supernatural!

People are disappearing in this town

left and right

And it's still three weeks left

until Halloween night

Why does everyone act

like there's nothing going on?

At night you can hear the wind

make the spirits moan

She gave my mom chocolates,

I tried to intercede

Now she has her evil sights

set solidly on me!

I'm sitting in class when the teacher

says, "Hey Lee..."

"Go and find Macy,

she's in the library!"

A Villianless Villanelle

A villanelle is a nineteen-line poem consisting of five sections known as tercets followed by a final quatrain. There are two refrains and two repeating rhymes, with the first and third line of the first tercet repeated alternately until the last stanza, which includes both repeated lines. I think this style it may have gone the way of the quill and ruffled collar, but I found one that I wrote many years ago for an English class. I think I made a "C" on it. Why would I possibly want to share this with the world? I'm sure if you are reading it that you might be posing this question. I don't know except maybe to ask if anyone else writes these. If so, I would love to hear about it in the comments section. So here is example of mine:

Oh why save the Holt Hotel at last

That stands stoically on the corner of the street

A reverent, cemented reminder of the past.

Early founders now vanished, time passes so fast

Who tarried in these rooms to plan and meet

Oh why save the Holt Hotel at last?

Sally Rand and her bubbles, spellbinding with her cast

Danced rhythms wild upon her feet

A reverent, cemented reminder of the past.

The city where Bonnie and Clyde ran wild and vast

Never apprehended by sleazy sheriff Pete

Oh why save the Holt Hotel at last?

No statues here left to cast

Pioneers so solid that weathered the heat

A reverent, cemented reminder of the past.

And the secrets so torrid and decadent to tell

Will keep you glued concretely to your chair

Oh why save the Holt Hotel at last?

A reverent, cemented reminder of the past.

Now some examples of good ones:

Dylan Thomas

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, 

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night,

Elizabeth Bishop

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,

some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.

Sylvia Plath

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;

At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head).

Elfin Grot

I've always wondered

where the elves go

when away they

must stow

from the land of

here and now

they disappear

and how

into their own

small space

through the

bushes they race

there they will

stay

through the light

of day

and out at night

they play

after stars twinkle

and moonrays cease

they claim their

piece

in an elfin grot

they nap and dream

and plan the next night

to gad about unseen

Trapped at Antietam

There you are

enveloped in mists

on that sad, beautiful battlefield

far removed now

from that bloodiest day

in history

attacks, counterattacks

tragedy at Sunken Road

armies flank out

to the right

to the left

Lee stoically committed

dug in there

a cold hillside indeed

bullets strewn

over bridges

into hedges

through Miller's Cornfield

under the shades of night

fragile shadows bowed and tended

to the sick

to the dying

shore up the lines

one more time

make a stand

as fettered out to you

by men in top hats and coats

one more round

before the wounded army

gathered south of the Potomac

the Proclamation was written

its time to take down your flag

your cause was unjust

now mourn that boy there

the one that is trapped

inside those mists

who lives that battle

for all eternity

"I felt this way in my past

a Maryland September day,

I may not ever come back

but I gotta be brave."

Boy Photo: flickr.com/photos/krysthopher_woods

Cannons Photo: Pixabay

College Life, Greeks, Creepy Guys with Houses

I was just thinking the other day about labels, putting labels on people, and the problem of labeling. In one of my classes this week, I was notified by a student sitting a table who was mad at the others around him. He looked at me and said, "They called me blonde!!" Hmmm. I thought, is that a bad thing, I mean teacher girl here is, umm, blonde. I've always kinda liked my hair and never paid attention to blonde jokes. Another student in second grade was upset and came to tell me, "They are saying that I'm OLDER than they are!" Well, hmmm again, somebody has to be older, but not me, I don't even want to talk about age, ha ha.

I guess it is not always about what is being said, but who happens to be saying it. If they don't like you, then it can't be good. Take the Teenage Hunk who is now College Boy. I'm not labeling him, that's what I call him. College Boy, however, is too busy to call his mom so I hear from him infrequently and usually when he:

Runs out of money

Runs out of food

Runs out of homework excuses

I do have to give him credit for laundry. He does his own quite well. He was actually voted best dressed in high school. Seriously, with two older sisters, this kid can appreciate a shopping mall with the best of 'em. I'm learning a lot about campus life these days as College Boy, who is still technically a Teenage Hunk is taking over the world at the university. Sadly, I do believe that the labeling system which is put into place in Pre-K is still alive and well in college. College Boy was just explaining his social life to me the other day. His social life consists mainly of a fraternity, and I must say, I have never really thought that was a good idea although I must say again that the local college has many Greeks (the inclusive name for all sororities and fraternities) that take on many terrific community volunteer causes.

Many people believe that these organizations formed to continue the clique lifestyle that we all experienced in high school. By many people, I specifically mean Bowling for Soup as evident in their song, High School Never Ends. Anyway, after all the dirt settled, College Boy was cut from his first choice of Greek Coolness, but seems to be happy with the group that he landed in. He was apparently thankful that he did not end up with a couple of fraternities as he commented:

"The TKEs and the Sig Eps, well really mom, they are just creepy guys with houses."

Of course, that is his assessment and not mine as I am completely ignorant regarding who is this or who isn't,but I'm sure the second graders will be informing me shortly, and now I strongly caution all of you to stay away from those "creepy guys in houses." Also if you are going to label someone else, make sure they are truly creepy.

Photo Credit: The Scream Meets Creepy Clown by A-Dawg13 @ Deviant Art.com